I often have conversations in my head...

Stuff like...

Me: What do you think of Beyonce'?

Also me: Are you talking about the singer or the five-foot metal chicken.

Me: Why would you even think of a five-foot metal chicken?

Also me: Really?

Me: Oh, right.

Also me: See? You walk into places like Ross or TJ Maxx, hoping to see a five-foot metal chicken that will cut you.

Me: Yeah, I do, but I don't leave with towels.